Insecure Hosts.... You knows it

Pandas went extinct because they couldn't get online fast enough, do you want that to happen to you???

New Sigh-Speed Broadband including Free Sherbert, Dab and Teaspoon!

Broadband from us isn't just a product; it's a way of life. Take saccharin in your coffee and tea? Well in many ways that's just like our broadband:

• You buy it instead of what you really want
• You will find it hard to digest
• It's not sweet, in fact it's kind of bitter
• There is no nutritional or informational content

Some of the great features of our product include:

• No fixed contract, because we will just be charging you til you go away!
• Free Migration: We will cancel your existing ADSL and then lie to you about it!
• Speeds comparable to other excellent services, such as CPM¹ and ROTY²
• Spam and viruses delivered faster than ever before!
• FREE modem³ and connection
• Easy to set up yourself⁴
• Phone and surf at the same time, yes phone sex and internet porn at the same time!
• Free online privacy service, we publish your details on the web so you don't have to!

We also sell Wireless routers for your home, so that you can share your broadband with everyone else in your neighbourhood. All of the security settings have been disabled to allow all and sundry to connect!

Click here to compare all of our broadband packages

¹: Carrier Pigeon Mail
²: Run Over There Yourself
³: 9600 baud modem from The Depths of Time (tm)
⁴: Assuming you have a degree in Advanced Jargon