Pandas went extinct because they couldn't get online fast enough, do you want that to happen to you???
New Sigh-Speed Broadband including Free Sherbert, Dab and Teaspoon!
Broadband from us isn't just a product; it's a way of life. Take saccharin in your coffee and tea? Well in many ways that's just like our broadband:
- You buy it instead of what you really want
- You will find it hard to digest
- It's not sweet, in fact it's kind of bitter
- There is no nutritional or informational content
Some of the great features of our product include:
- No fixed contract, because we will just be charging you til you go away!
- Free Migration: We will cancel your existing ADSL and then lie to you about it!
- Speeds comparable to other excellent services, such as CPM1 and ROTY2
- Spam and viruses delivered faster than ever before!
- FREE modem3 and connection
- Easy to set up yourself4
- Phone and surf at the same time, yes phone sex and internet porn at the same time!
- Free online privacy service, we publish your details on the web so you don't have to!
2: Run Over There Yourself
3: 9600 baud modem from The Depths of Time (tm)
4: Assuming you have a degree in Advanced Jargon